A Letter to My Son on the Eve of His Third Birthday

S,

Five days ago, your mother and I took you and your brother to the doctor's office to get a flu shot.  When I arrived home from work, I could hear you crying before I even walked through the door.  It was evident that you had recently received the news of your late afternoon destination.  The crying, as well as your pleas to stay home, lasted longer than the trip to the doctor's office...

You and I have something in common.  We are both the second born child in our respective families.  And I can say the following without guilt or reservation: it's actually pretty easy being the second son.  Our parents have already been through the fright of being first time parents, so this experience affords us the opportunity to be a little more laid back, a little more funny, a little more trouble...

When we arrived at the doctor's office your crying did not relent.  In fact, when I was at the front desk getting you and W checked in, I heard a kid behind you say, "Who's doing all that crying!!??!!"  I had to smile and chuckle just a bit because it was my S who was in tears...

When you want your mom and dad's attention for matters that concern you the most at any given moment, you get right in our face, look at us right in the eyes, and deliver your requests and instructions.  The excitement in your voice is not over-the-top, but you are quite persistent in what you have to tell us.  With your head usually crooked to one side, you proclaim, "Daddy!  Daddy!  You need to..." and you don't stop until your request is completed to your satisfaction...

You were sitting on your mother's lap, and your brother kept asking me when you two were going to be called back for your shots.  Over and over he asked.  Over and over you worried.  But when the nurse called your names, you hopped off mommy's lap and took my hand and we walked to the exam room together...

Parents often compare their children.  I think it's impossible to expect parents no to do so.  Your mother and I often compare you and W.  You two have many similarities.  Your mother and I talk about you two daily, if not hourly, as long as work does not get in the way.  But we don't compare you to W in order to criticize or ask why can't S be like W???  We compare you two to make sure you are different.  We compare you to make sure you are S and nobody else...

You hid behind me in the exam room right when the nurse spoke her first word.  You scooted behind my legs and held tight, making sure you wouldn't be seen.  As I tried to step to the side to bring you out in front of me, you moved in lockstep with me, ensuring your cover wouldn't be blown.  We asked you who you wanted to sit with, mommy or daddy?  You were too occupied with your worrying to answer.  So I picked you up and held you.  You did not cry as the nurse gave you your shot...

Tomorrow you turn three years old.  I have been blessed to be your daddy for three years.  Soon enough, too soon really, you no longer will call me "daddy."  And that's how it's supposed to be.  But I will be there to be your shield when you need protection; to defend you when you need someone to be your champion; to learn and grow with you when things get confusing and challenging.

Love,
Daddy

“You have plenty of courage, I am sure,” answered Oz. “All you need is confidence in yourself. There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid, and that kind of courage you have in plenty.”- L. Frank Baum