The Bed

On Wednesday, I assembled my youngest son's new bed.  He had outgrown his crib and was ready for his new "big boy" bed.  We actually had the bed for a few weeks prior to putting it together, but C and I decided it would be best to wait until after we returned from Europe to assemble it and have S (our youngest son) sleep in it.  W (our oldest son) and S stayed at my parents house while C and I were in Europe; since S would be sleeping in a crib at my parents' house, we didn't want him to get used to a regular bed only to got back into a crib while we were gone.

Anywho, after I put the bed together (with the assistance of my little helpers, W and S), I texted C.  She said she was trying to find some motivation while at work, so I sent her a picture of S's new bed, with full bedding on it.

Her reply surprised me.  She wrote, "Oh my!  I might cry."  When I asked her why, she wrote, "There has been a crib in my house for 5 years. 😭😭😭"

I understand her reaction.  Our boys are growing up.  Each day they become a little less dependent on mommy and daddy.  The bond between a mother and her children is immensely special and unique.  Carrying a child for close to a year is a tremendous responsibility and requires a great amount of sacrifices, many of which C probably never (nor ever will) made known to me.  A mother seeing her babies grow up must be filled with many emotions: happiness, wonder, awe, sadness, regret, excitement, loss... love.

As a father, I'm torn about this transition, but most likely not to the extent C is.  I was looking forward to this day.  I was excited for S to get his new bed.  I was curious to see how he would take to it (so far he's taken it to really well).  When I was taking down his crib, I did not feel the sadness that C expressed to me in her message.  To me, this was just another early transition in S's life.

However, there is a part of me that wants W and S to stay this age forever.  Despite my longing for my sons to develop their independence, there is a part of me that enjoys just how much they need me and C.  I admit to being a hypocrite.  I suppose every parent does, to some extent.  But every day both W and S amaze me.  Every day W and S allow me to see the world through their eyes: innocent, honest, curious, unbelievable, or as S likes to describe it, "Holy Moley, Macaroni!!!!!"  I want to hold onto these days as long as I can, yet I want them to grow, learn, love and flourish.

Soon enough C and I will no longer be mommy and daddy.  We'll be mom and dad.  And then what???  At least there will always be a bed in our house for them to sleep in.

A