My First CF-Specific Post

I saw this on Facebook this morning and gave it a read: Dealing With Awkward CF Situations. I don't always read the articles/blogs cff.org posts for a variety of reasons... I think that situation doesn't refer to me, I'm afraid what might be written behind the picture, I just don't have time...

But I decided to give this one a try because I was immediately able to place myself within that situation.  All of those situations (ok, not being referred to as "the one with the problems" though.  Maybe my parents are aware of situations like that but never told me.  Hmm... maybe I'll ask them).   It's the one thing I'm always fully conscience of since I've only told a handful of people that I have CF: how to deal with/cover/explain CF-related symptoms to people who do not know.  Challenging, yes, but not impossible.

Here are a few of the situations that have stuck with me throughout the years...

• Being asked if I have a "smoker's cough."  Not too difficult to brush this one aside.  Sometimes just saying "nope" does the trick.  Other times I have to say that I just have a cold.
• Being questioned about the scars on my stomach by co-workers.  A little trickier to maneuver around, and it did require a little bit of lying.  I told them that I was in a knife fight when I was younger.  Looking back on it now, I'm pretty sure they didn't believe me, but I guess it was good enough at the time.  Plus, I avoided answering any other follow-up questions.
• The "seemingly never-ending coughing bouts."  I remember sitting in the auditorium during high school during a presentation when one struck.  I couldn't stop coughing.  And I was the only person coughing.  Being in such a big room made it seem like the coughing was so much louder.  I remember being so embarrased about how frequently I cough, yet too self-conscience to go out and get a drink of water.   
• The "unstoppable, louder than they probably, actually, maybe? are stomach gurgles."  Yeah, these are pretty unavoidable.  Unlike the coughing spellings, these really can hit with no warning.  When I was in college I took an early morning Psychology class.  I always sat in the same seat.  To my left was an empty seat, then the same cute girl.  My stomach would gurgle pretty much the same time and for the same duration almost every class.  Loud enough for her to hear.  This one was pretty easy to "explain."  I would tell her that I just hadn't eaten breakfast yet.  But I did eat breakfast before class.  Everyday.  After awhile, we laughed every time my stomach made his appearance known.  We would even question those mornings when my stomach remained silent throughout the class.  I should've asked her out.  But then maybe there wouldn't be C, W and S in my life.  I couldn't live knowing that...

But by far the worst part of having CF, worse than the coughing spells, stomach aches, doctors visits, diabetes, inhalers, nebulizers, and pills, is coughing up on myself.  It's dehumanizing and disheartening.  How can my body not even hold in the smallest of fluids and phlegm?  Even when this occurs when I'm alone, I'm still embarrassed.  Simply put, it's a loss of dignity.

Well, I didn't mean to leave you on a downer.  It has actually gotten easier to come up with excuses over the years.  I'm sure there are a lot of other situations similar to the ones I've mentioned above, but I just can't remember them at this time.  I'll end with a quote from the article, that seems to be akin to my perspective on things, "You'll learn that you don't have to explain your disease when you don't want to and most importantly that most people aren't even aware of it until you tell them."

Until next post,

A