Patience

While the family and I were on vacation to Maryland to stay with C's aunt and uncle, the four of us took a "vacation within a vacation" to Bethany Beach, Delaware.  Overall, it was a great time.  The boys enjoyed their first ever trip to a beach, C got a needed break from her family (and especially her family's friend) and I got to relish all that W, S and C experienced.

Before I go into what I came here to write about this trip, I must preface this by offering a quick W story.  On our first morning at Bethany Beach, W had a MAJOR tantrum/breakdown.  He wanted Starbucks for breakfast.  When C and I told him that we were having (FREE!!!!!) breakfast at the hotel and that we weren't driving to Starbucks (we didn't even know where one was), W started crying, screaming, stomping, pounding, etc.  I was able to calm him down a bit, so I took him and S to the restaurant in the hotel to eat breakfast.  I got the boys their food, sat down to cut everything up for them and was about to go get myself food when W starting crying again.  He wanted an Everything Bagel.  The hotel didn't have Everything Bagels.  W did not quite grasp this.  The crying, and being loud and repeatedly asking "go to Starbucks!" and "I want any Everything Bagel!" reappeared.  A few minutes later C came to join us, but ended up taking W back to our hotel room with her.  S and I trailed behind.  Anywho, I know I said this would be a quick W story, so to wrap things up, W threw about an hour-and-a-half to two an hour long temper tantrum over Starbucks Everything Bagels.  This was the type of tantrum in which nothing would make W better.  We (and then just I because C took S out to the beach) just had to wait it out.

So, to what I really wanted to get across... the next day W, S and I were back at breakfast again.  W was in a much better mood (he didn't want a Starbucks Bagel this morning.  He was happy with his waffle, bacon and bowl of dry Froot Loops).  S, on the other hand, threw a tantrum because I told him I had to help him with his cup of cranberry juice (he had to use a regular plastic cup because I forgot his sippy cup in our room).  So, here's another breakfast with a toddle crying, screaming and being loud.  S's tantrum didn't last nearly as long as W's, but it still wasn't fun.

After S calmed down and C returned to the room to finish getting ready, I took W and S to go do a craft.  The three of us cut through the food area to refill their drinks (C had brought S's sippy cup with her when she met up with us for breakfast).  While we were waiting in line for cranberry juice, a lady next to us commented on how cute the boys were (I'm by no means bragging, but C and I do hear this a lot from strangers about the boys 😊)  But then she offered this: "I saw you with the boys at your table.  You did a great job.  You were so patient with your little one.  It brought back memories of when my children were that age."

That was extremely nice of her to say.  C and I both really appreciate when people come up to us and tell as that we're doing a great job parenting, especially when the boys are being difficult.  But I have to admit, that when I was saying "thank you" to the lady, what was really going through my mind was, "of course I have to be patient, lady.  Losing my temper or yelling at S wouldn't calm him down at all."

I am a very patient person.  I'm good at staying calm.  This isn't to say that I never get upset, mad, annoyed or impatient.  But I do think I do a good job of realizing when losing my temper/patience can hurt a situation rather than help it.

I am a teacher.  I am a middle school teacher.  I am a special education middle school teacher.  If there was ever a profession that required a tremendous amount of patience, it would be the job in which I'm currently employed.  I've gone off on students before.  Some kids have a way of trying to elicit that battle from you.  That's something I always try to keep in mind when things might get heated within the classroom.  Each time that I have yelled at a student, I've made it a point to personally apologize to the student for losing my temper.

One thing I'm not sure people understand is just how stressful my job can be.  I know... the same could be said for every job.  I make it a point to leave "home stuff" at home and "school stuff" at school.  It's not fair to C and the boys if I bring my stressful day at work home with me.  Likewise, it's not fair to my students if I bring my stressful day/night at home to school with me.

Some of the stress comes from the fact that some of my middle school students behavior similarly to W and S, who are 4 and 2, respectfully.  It can be difficult some days to spend a whole day at work with adolescents who act like toddlers, and then come home to two toddlers at a time which I like to call the "witching hour."  The "witching hour" involves tantrums, hunger, but not wanting to eat, tiredness, but it's too late for a nap, but too early for bed (when you combine the hunger with the tiredness, you get a term C and I like call "hangry"), lack of sharing, lack of independent play, lack of anything close to rational thought.  But at least this is expected of toddlers.

Well, if I haven't already started rambling, I feel a ramble coming on.  My intention wasn't to complain, even if it sounds like I did.  My intention was to just get whoever might be reading this to reflect on the value of patience.

And this is by no means targeted at anybody specific!!!!!

Anywho, off to go make dinner.  I found a new recipe I'm going to try tonight for C and the boys.  It's grilled pineapple chicken.  I hope they all like it!  Since this is the first time I will have made it, everyone is going to need a little patience...

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