I returned to work a couple Thursdays ago after having the last 11 weeks off. This was the fifth summer I was "dad." While many events occurred over this time, I present before you a list of items that I will take from summer vacation.
- It's Hard Being 2 Years Old- I know a lot of words now, but why can't I use words to tell how I feel, especially when I'm sad, mad or hurt??? I LOVE playing outside, but HATE coming inside when mommy and daddy tell me too... W gets to go to summer camp at school, but I have to get back in the car with daddy??? Diaper changes are the worst. Why can't I go potty like W yet?... Why do I always give my toys to W, but he hardly ever gives any to me??? Wait, I can ride a roller coaster now, but I still have to be buckled into a carseat???
Hang in there, S. You're growing and learning so much, so quickly, that you'll be older and bigger sooner than you realize. This world needs your heart more than you'll ever know.
- It's Hard Being 4 Years Old- At the beginning of summer, things were different. Nani isn't coming over, Grandma isn't coming over, Daddy's at home. What's going on??? People are asking more things of me now- school, potty, cleaning up after myself. I feel like I always need to answer them, but I don't know if what I'm saying is what they want to hear. I'm trying my best... Life was good until S came around. But I'm trying to be nicer to him. Using my words to express how I feel about him is difficult, but I'm getting better... Why am I already worrying about kindergarten??? I've just started my last year of preschool, but kindergarten is already on my (ever-busy) mind...
W, keep enjoying being a kid. Your mom and I have often commented that you're wiser than your age. And while this is true, you still haven't stopped enjoying the moment. The world is going to need your mind and ingenuity. For now, continue enjoying being four.
- Addie Might Be Getting Older, But She Hasn't Yet Lost Her Loyalty to Her Family- Every night Addie sits next to me while I do my vest. I never have to invite her. She just follows me down into the basement and jumps up on the couch to lay next to me while I sit and shake for 30 minutes. Man's best friend. When C is not feeling well, or is feeling sad, or frustrated or like things are not breaking her way, Addie stays by her side until she knows her work is done. Man's best friend. When it's time for W and S to go to bed, Addie comes into W's room with us for story time, and then comes into S's room while I give him his bottle and put him to bed. She'll lay on the floor or hop up onto his bed and stay with me until we both know S is asleep. Man's best friend. She's gone from being the center of our attention to third on the depth chart in less than five years. And this is weird saying it about a dog, but she's handled it extremely well. She hasn't gotten aggressive, whiney or destructive. It's as if she believes her role is to watch over every single member of our family. And I've told her over and over that she doesn't need to do it, she can just relax and enjoy being a dog. But she doesn't listen. Man's best friend, indeed.
- I Am In Love With My Wife- This really shouldn't be that much of a revelation. I have the world's greatest wife. I think that the best thing I can say about her and our relationship right now is that not only do I love her, but I am still in love with her. Like, actively in love with her. C wrote recently in her blog about our "first fight(?)" and how she thought "it made us closer. Something I didn't realize was possible before the argument- I just assumed we were as close as could be." This is what I mean... we're not settling for the ho-hum, day-in-day-out marriage. I think we've regained some curiosity for each other that had grown rather dormant over ten years and two children. It hasn't been easy. C mentions in that post of our "long, emotional, honest, raw conversation." That's exactly what it was! And it was a conversation that needed to occur. And what sprung forth from that conversation was the rekindling of an active and evolving love. (And W and S are the absolute best children two parents could ever wish for)
- "You Know a Summer Was Great When You're Sad That It Is Over"- Returning to work after summer vacation is always difficult for me. This year was probably the most difficult time I had returning to another year of teaching. I complain about W and S often. And after I do, I feel bad about it. And then I complain about them again. But there I was the morning before I had to return to work crying because I was thinking about how much I was going to miss the boys. And there I was crying again the morning of my first day of work. When I told C about this, she said something that was absolutely spot on- "you know a summer was great when you're sad that is was over" (she would later express these sentiments to me again in a very sweet card). This was a great summer. The boys are getting older and a little more independent each day. And when they are getting along with each other, it's the sweetest thing to witness. And I am extremely fortunate to be able to participate as much as I can in their development. When C and I first told people that she was pregnant with W, everyone told us to cherish this time in his life because it goes by quickly. I wish they were wrong.
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